A Different Kind of Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day! These words can bring many different thoughts and emotions - happy, sad, angry, painful, ambivalent, numb - our feelings are valid as each of our life stories are so very different. For me, personally, I don't think too much of it. I'm a mom everyday and I give odes to myself at any time and in every season - even when I'm not the best version because I give myself grace and space to gain understanding so I can shift and grow.

There is no point to shame, I am not striving for the elusiveness of perfection because there is none. I fed the kids all today and they are alive and well - good job Momma! I swallowed frustration and gave grace instead - you did good girl! I sacrificed myself for their benefit - you are doing what a Mom should even when it hurts, I'm so proud of you! I've learned long ago to parent myself, love myself even at my not so great moments, and give myself lots of grace because I know my heart is to get it right - for us and for each of them - not for society, but for MY kids, MY family. As they grow I also have to continue to grow and shift - there is a solid foundation and the branches will grow, be pruned if needed from there. I am also aware that for the birth mothers of my kids, this may not be a happy time but there is a place in my heart for them because they carried them when, let's face it, there are other options available. I'm glad they did not choose those options.

At this time in my journey of motherhood I feel peace. Everything isn't the way that I would like but it's getting there and progress warms my heart and soul. God and I are in this together and that is the best knowing that I am not in this alone.

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